A long time ago I wrote this reflection on another site:
” It’s rather ironic when you think about it. ‘Life’ – a simple 4 letter word and yet no definite meaning behind it. There are many ways of thinking about life, too many to state or list.
I consider my life to be like a continuous journey. A journey to where? I’m not sure, but that’s the point isn’t it? I don’t know what my future is and so it makes sense that I don’t know where I’m heading.
A journey with many obstacles in the way because life is not an easy flat, straight road. Perhaps it is more like an obstacle course. When I am encountering a difficult situation, reflected on my journey, I am walking up a steep hill. There are many factors that define how difficult the situation may be; the steepness of the hill, height, type of road/path (rocky, sandy, etc), etc.
At present, I am probably at the foot of the biggest obstacle in my life so far. Year 12 is not an easy mound of dirt that I can just hop over, but as life is a continuous journey, I can not avoid it or stop. I know that once I reach the peak, it’s all downhill from there and satisfaction lies on the other side.
And when I reach the end of my journey and look back, I hope that I will be able to come to realise that my life was, in fact, just a journey. There are times that I can run and times that I must crawl, but it’s all a matter of taking it step by step. “
(Sometimes I marvel at my literacy skills… where has it all gone?! …)
Year 12 was indeed a big obstacle. Unfortunately, as I was continually looking back over my shoulder too see how much I’d accomplished, I did not foresee the much more difficult trek ahead – university. But of course, university is not the be-all and end-all of my journey. The future is still shrouded in mist. It’s possible (and highly likely) that another greater mountain remains to be climbed. I can’t see it at the moment. I’m still trying to do what I told myself so many years ago: “…taking it step by step.” Sometimes I want to just stop, sit down, and stare up into the sky. Days when I feel like this, I find myself wishing for a momentary lapse in time. Just a little one. Enough to let me breathe in the world around me, be thankful for what I have, and regain my composure to continue the journey.
After all these years, all this time trekking, I still feel like I haven’t ventured far from the beginning. And yet I have. And before I know it, I’ll probably reach the end. So, message to my future self:
“Feel the ground, dirt, or pebbles below your feet, no matter how sore they are. It means you are still traveling, still journeying, still living. And remember, the seemingly never-ending struggle, is really only a short journey.”
(A photo I took from the car on a family trip through the country.)